Quirky Articles: Getting yourself ready to travel the world is the easy bit, now all you need is a bit of relationship prepping

When you think about taking off on the road with your partner, your expectations are likely to be divided by two very different visions. One is filled with exotic and joyful images, beachside cocktails and sharing discoveries, while the other is daunted at the reality of your situation: You are about to spend every single second of every single day side-by-side with your loved one. That, if nothing else, is an utterly terrifying concept. But rather than fearing this aspect of your upcoming vacation you can instead begin preparing for it. Just as we use a check-list to pack our suitcase we can also begin to test our relationship to make sure it is ready to survive the trauma of going on holiday.

Let me share with you a few hilarious insights to the world of travelling and not only expose the challenges you and your partner might face on the road but also outline the skills that your relationship needs to make a smooth transition from homely duo to travel savvy couple.

Good luck!

To be conscientious in areas where your partner isn’t

It is necessary in times of stress for partners to be able to act as a polite stand-in when their counterpart is utterly failing. Usually one person handles tiredness, heat or being ripped off more calmly than the other. It is therefore imperative during stressful communications, for partners to develop an awareness of their ability to handle a situation better than their raging other half. Delay your partners morning alarm and hide their keys to find out how adequately they deal with stress and determine your strengths over theirs.

To be able to quarrel in silence

The four walls in your own home are sound-proof and maintain the secrets of your relationship but for any couple about to take to the road, all of that is about to change. Travellers are exposed to chock-a-block social interactions, paper thin walls and communal dining facilities and so open-air displays of agitation are a big no-no. Even the best of relationships entertain a good bicker now and then so the challenge is to develop a way of adequately -but discreetly- showing your anger. Sporadic glaring, stance changes and the heightening of annoying habits are among the many ways to get your point across. Practice when you next go out to dinner with friends, if you get caught you’ve failed… and you will look like a weirdo, encouraging you to be better at it the next time around.

To co-ordinate eating schedules

It would be ridiculous to go out for dinner twice and seen as you cannot just grab a bowl of cereal -you have no bowls, never mind a kitchen- you had better get used to timing your eating habits just right, or start compromising. Oh and on this note, it is worth making sure you know your partners eating habits better than they do, we want to encounter those hungry -and incredibly grumpy- alter egos as little as possible. Start bringing snacks on long car journeys and forget that you can pull over at service stations, this should prepare you for those hefty bus rides in the future.

To be able to listen to each others’ stories

To be able to successfully travel together it is imperative that you carefully select a partner that has great stories and storytelling capabilities. This will prevent you from holding your head in your hands with embarrassment every other day as you meet new people but tell the same old tales. If you already know everything about your other half you should probably stop talking for about a year or so before traveling so there are some secrets to share once your abroad.

To possess the ability to talk…and perhaps assess each others’ toilets

OK, this one might just be the tester. I have yet to come across a traveling couple that have not had to literally share their cr***y experiences. When moving through foreign countries with unique diets all travellers are likely to encounter at least one bout of problematic, and very loud, bowel movements. Breakfast conversations are likely to include informational topics such as consistency and discoloration issues. The good news is that after pushing through -ha- three days of this talk you’ll be wholly accustomed and unperturbed about bowel discussions. To save yourself from experiencing this trauma abroad you can start drinking ample amounts of prune juice and comparing the results over breakfast bagels.

… Trust me, once you’ve got all of that covered, you’re ready to travel the world as a competent duo and your relationship will emerge as beautiful as your travel pics. Oh, but on that note, I accept no responsibility for the outcome of the trials and tribulations you face at home during your preparations!

Now all that is left to discover is that there is no better way to see the world than with someone you love.